struggling with the dissonance

it is interesting to be approaching this trip to africa from a completely different perspective from last year. there is very little shock factor for me. this has been exceedingly helpful for my daily processing, but it has also be a bit of a hindrance. you see i keep finding myself analyzing every situation that i encounter. this has led to myriad discoveries about how i view a.i.d.s. relief and the organizations with which we are working. i won't go into all that right now, but suffice it to say the struggle has been difficult.

-

on a lighter note, god has provided such a blessing through the community with which we are working this week. "ocean view" is such a unique place. at first i was concerned that i would not be returning to "red hill," the township i worked with last year. but what an incredible place "ocean view" has turned out to be! the life skills educators are incredible, and the children are reminding me exactly how ridiculous my life is...and i see this as a good thing. i am so concerned with my appearance and my belongings that i forget that which matters most. today i had on dirty clothes (i'll get back to that in a minute), my hair was grotesque, and my mountain-man beard is coming in nicely. and i didn't care. people were taking pictures everywhere, and i thought to myself, i am not here to care about how i look in those pictures. i am here to connect with these kids. it was wonderful.

-

about the dirty clothes...i worked an industrial-quality weed-whacker today and help clean up about a half-acre of land with overgrown grass. oh man. i can never say in good conscience that i do not care about power tools. i love them. i have never felt so much raw power in my hands before. and i kept thinking, i NEED one of these. so my clothes and face and hair were and absolute mess by the time we got to "ocean view" this afternoon. i was COVERED in grass, and it was amazing.

-

i am falling in love with south africa all over again. even though this experience is totally different from that of last year, that simply has made it rich in totally different ways. this group of students has a dynamic unlike anything i have encountered. i have found myself hanging out with members of the mens' and womens' basketball teams. i'm cutting jokes with andy wicke. i'm playing mafia with mick hedgepeth. i'm cracking jokes in the middle of the night with drew hanlen. these are things i never in a million years thought i would ever do. this shared experience has allowed doors to open that i never thought would be possible. it moves my soul...and it also means that there is no way i am missing any home basketball games next year.

-

all of this to say that after only two full days here, this trip has already been worth it. i do miss home though. funny enough i really miss my roommates. yet i am nowhere near ready to be back...and odds are i won't be ready when i do come back. but i am learning that this is okay.

-

***again, i am sorry for the lack of pictures. when i get an internet connection (and time) to adds some, i will go back and do so...lots of pictures already!!!***